


this is a love story.

by knightspur



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Rimming, Vignette, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 09:58:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14809124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightspur/pseuds/knightspur
Summary: That's what falling in love is like-- just something that happens day by day.





	this is a love story.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [phantomwised](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomwised/gifts).



> So this is fully and entirely written as a gift to my wonderful beta, best friend, and soulmate Shaye as an apology for writing nothing but horrendous angst and sadness and porn for like, 4 months straight. Here's all the soft gyuhao you deserve but I refuse to give you in any other fic I write.

It's only maybe half an hour minutes before his first real time on a stage in Korea and Minghao has never been gladder that he isn't very prone to stage fright. All around their crammed waiting room space there's a tense energy, other members fixing their clothes, humming parts of the song, giving each other looks like they might explode from nerves at any moment.

Minghao is sitting to the side of their makeup table, legs stretched out in front of him, trying to steer clear of all the chaos. Years of performing competitively in front of crowds have helped him get rid of the excited butterflies before going on stage and he knows he won't forget any of the performance.

Some of the boys, like Soonyoung, are doing whatever possible not to show just how nervous they are. He's been bouncing off the walls for the last hour, pulling Seokmin and Seungkwan into random games and irritating Jihoon and Wonwoo when the younger two boys won't play with him. Wonwoo is the exact opposite, sitting still and tucked away with a cold scowl on his face. Most of the morning he's had Mingyu sitting with him, telling him jokes or chattering at him since he's the only person not intimidated by the look on Wonwoo's face.

But Mingyu has wandered off to…

Looking around the room, Minghao notices for the first time that Mingyu isn't there at all. He can't remember when exactly he might have left and it doesn't seem like anyone else has noticed. Seungcheol is going over something with one of the stage managers that keeps bustling in and out of the room, wringing his hands in front of him.

Minghao frowns, sitting up and pulling his legs close to his chest, wondering if he should ask someone where Mingyu might be. It's possible he's just gone to the bathroom or something and Minghao doesn't really need him for any particular reason. So, he stays in his spot, smiling a little when Junhui comes to sit down next to him.

"Not nervous?" He asks, draping his arm around Minghao's shoulders. Minghao huffs, rolling his eyes and shrugging his arms off.

"I don't get nervous." He answers the question in Mandarin, even though Junhui asked him in Korean. His vocabulary is getting better all the time, thanks to the others being patient in explaining things to him when he asks, but he's still far more confident speaking in his mother tongue. Junhui smiles, still leaning comfortably into Minghao's personal space.

Minghao doesn't mind it as much as he pretends to.

"Have you seen Mingyu-ya?" He asks when Mingyu still doesn't appear a few minutes later, the call time for their performance inching closer and closer. Junhui lifts his head but gives it a shake.

"I wasn't looking, though," he says, lifting one of his shoulders in a shrug.

He's been gone too long for someone just going pee. Minghao stands up, brushing off Junhui's questioning look with a smile.

"Bathroom," he says, bowing his head politely to the manager he passes on his way out. She just waves him past.

Once he's out in the hall, Minghao takes a few steps away from their waiting room and pulls the phone out of his pocket, opening his rarely used messages with Mingyu.

**(minghao):** _where are you??_

He actually does make his way down to the bathroom, if for no other reason than to make it seem like he wasn't lying about where he was going. It takes a minute or two of Minghao milling awkwardly around by himself before Mingyu responds.

**(mingyu):** _dressing room around the corner…_

Minghao sighs, leaving the bathroom to find him.

"What are you doing in here?" He hisses into the darkness. It's less of an actual dressing room and more of an out of the way supply closet with some extra clothing in it, though it's not theirs and Minghao doesn't know who it could belong to.

"Shut the door," Mingyu says, his voice thick and damp. Minghao does, his back pressed against it still, worried if he tries stepping further into the room he'll trip.

It takes a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they do he can see Mingyu looming at the back of the room, his shoulders brushing one of the racks of clothes, head ducked toward his chest. It's too dark to make his face out very clearly so Minghao takes a tentative step forward.

"Mingyu-ya?" He asks, eyebrows scrunching together. Mingyu huffs out a sound that Minghao doesn't quite understand, scrubbing at one of his eyes with the back of his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Mingyu says, his voice wavering. "You can go back to the waiting room."

When he gets closer, it's easy to see that he's been crying. Minghao doesn't comment on it but doesn't back down either.

In spite of the fact that they're the same age, he doesn't feel like he knows all that much about Mingyu. He feels that way about most of the members, really. By the time Minghao joined the group, they all had established friendships and inside jokes that didn't include him. He's close with Junhui but it's hard to tell if that's because Junhui really likes him or by default as the only two Chinese members.

Mingyu doesn't look annoyed with Minghao for not leaving, brushing at his eyes again and shaking his head. "Did Seungcheol-hyung ask you where I was?"

"No," Minghao says, shaking his head. "I just…"

He's not sure exactly how to phrase what he wants to say and he trails off, scowling at the floor for a moment. The language barrier was the hardest part of everything; worse than the long hours of practice and the worry that he might not actually make the final group. Being unable to properly express his thoughts is frustrating to no end.

"You left," he says after too long a pause trying to string a proper sentence together.

"I'm kinda freaking out," Mingyu says, his voice lowered like he's confessing this to Minghao.

Minghao wants to tell him that it's okay. He's been freaked out for the last year. He wants to be able to really make Mingyu feel better.

But even in a language, he understands, expressing himself has always been Minghao's weakness. So, he reaches out and squeezes Mingyu's arm gently, not trying to pull him closer but simply reassure him.

"I'll stay," he says because he has the words to say that much at least. Mingyu nods, and to Minghao's surprise, pulls him into a tight hug. Mingyu is so big that his arms envelop around Minghao's body completely, his face buried in Minghao's carefully straightened hair. Minghao is tense for a moment before he convinces his muscles to relax, patting awkwardly at Mingyu's broad back.

"Thanks," Mingyu says, his voice muffled, his breath warm against the top of Minghao's head. "I'll be okay in a minute."

"Okay," Minghao says, still petting Mingyu's back.

Mingyu sniffles once or twice but for most of the embrace, he's quiet. Minghao, his head pressed to Mingyu's chest, can hear the way his heart rate slows back to normal.

When they leave, just before he pulls the door open, Minghao gives Mingyu's hand a quick, tight squeeze.

"I won't tell," he says, looking up at Mingyu with a small smile on his face.

The smile Mingyu gives him in response is bright and warm, making up for the puffy rings around his eyes.

"You're really nice," Mingyu says like he'd never considered it before. Minghao laughs, shaking his head and opening the door.

"Wash your face," he answers, walking back to the waiting room by himself, leaving Mingyu to scurry off to the bathroom to get rid of all the traces of his panic.

Still, Mingyu's words rest warm in the middle of his chest, even when he takes his place next to Junhui once again and Junhui smirks at him.

"I knew you were nervous," he says, almost whispering like he's found out one of Minghao's secrets.

For once, Minghao doesn't argue with him. He just shrugs his shoulders and when Mingyu comes back in and resumes talking with Wonwoo as if nothing happened, Minghao watches him for a moment longer than usual.

Maybe they're just a little closer than Minghao initially thought.

**{* * *}**

It’s too late for any of them to still be practising but the building is still buzzing with activity. They’ve all shifted their sleep schedule from night to day to account for all the other activities that need to be stuffed in, but tonight Seungcheol wants to send them all to bed a few hours before the sun comes up.

Mingyu is sprawled on the floor, trying to catch his breath, listening to the soft pat of sneakers around him, other members talking and struggling to breathe just like he is. Mingyu lets his eyes shut, the bright overhead lights of the practice room burning nonsense patterns of red and black into the thin skin of his eyelids.

He opens them again at the sound of someone sitting next to him, leaning his head to the side to look up at Minghao, daring a small smile.

Minghao smiles back, in the process of pushing blond curls out of his eyes, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I'm worn out."

Mingyu nods, stretching his arms out on either side, occupying as much of the floor as he can. He looks something like a beached starfish, salty and sticky with sweat, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Me too," he says, though he hardly needs to. None of them are firing on all cylinders at this point; they're hardly the only ones feeling the effects of all the practice. "Didn't Coups-hyung say we were supposed to go home early tonight?"

"It's only 2," Minghao says, his grin getting a little wider. "That's early for us."

Mingyu thumps his head against the floor with a groan, shutting his eyes again. He's always been more of a morning person, so these long night practices have become something like a curse for him. It's hard, knowing that he'll still be awake earlier than the rest of them, trying to clean or prepare food or sneak an extra long, luxurious shower in their only bathroom. Minghao laughs, one warm hand patting Mingyu's stomach.

"It's not so bad," Mingyu says, trying to convince himself more than Minghao, still speaking with his eyes tightly closed. "When I open my eyes, Coups-hyung is going to tell us to go home and get some rest."

"Sure," Minghao says, pinching Mingyu's side until he's forced to open his eyes and wiggle away. "And we won't have to cram into the bathroom to brush our teeth three people at a time."

"Let me have hope," Mingyu says, whining. Minghao giggles, shaking his head.

He's gotten much more confident in his Korean over the past few months and with that, he's also become much more talkative than he was before. It makes sense. Jun and Joshua were the same way at the beginning when they were struggling to converse. But now that he talks more, Minghao's true character is surprising. His cute, round cheeks don't really hint at his sharp, sarcastic wit or his ambitious nature. Everything Minghao tackles he seems to want to be the best at; even things he doesn't take to right away.

It's admirable. Mingyu used to pat himself on the back for being brave enough to join Pledis, but he's not sure he has the kind of courage that Minghao does; moving to a new country, where he doesn't speak the language, on a whim and a dream, chasing a desire to be the best that he can.

"Hope for something more…" Minghao pauses, his mouth screwing up the way it does when he can't think of the right word for what he's trying to say. "Realer?"

"Realistic," Mingyu says, nodding his head.

"More realistic," Minghao repeats. "Like sleep."

Minghao reaches one hand out, combing Mingyu's heavy bangs out of his eyes, taking a moment to admire the freshly dyed silver-blue colour. Mingyu likes it; it looks good with the tone of his skin and even though Jeonghan's hair is an even prettier lilac, it makes him stand out.

The touch surprises him, even more, when Minghao's fingers linger for an extra moment when Mingyu's hair falls back across his forehead, the pad of Minghao's thumb brushing his temple before he pulls back. There's no reason for anyone in Seventeen to feel touch-starved or lonely, but Minghao isn't clingy like Seokmin or Soonyoung. It makes Mingyu feel like he's earned the affection of an, especially choosy cat. A little, mundane victory.

"Jealous?" He asks, giving Minghao a cheeky smile, reaching one long arm out to twist one of Minghao's golden blond curls around his finger. Minghao laughs and it seems like he almost leans forward into the touch of Mingyu's fingers. At the very least, he doesn't lean away.

"No," Minghao says, plucking at the curls himself. "I don't look like Chan."

Mingyu laughs at that, rolling onto his side rather than his back, curling up a little like he can contain his giggles. Minghao laughs too but when Mingyu recovers from his laughing fit there's a shy smile on his face.

"Do you think it's bad?" He asks, leaning his head to the side. Once again, Mingyu is surprised. Minghao doesn't seem like the type to poll the opinion of the entire group on his hair but the way he asks is tentative in a way that has nothing to do with the language barrier.

"Nah," Mingyu says, finally sitting upright again. He pets his fingers through Minghao's hair, feeling the soft, slightly dry texture of the bleached and permed hair, just because it seems like he's allowed. "You're supposed to be cool and cute, right? It suits you."

The compliment makes Minghao preen, tilting his chin up a little and smirking when Mingyu's hand falls away from his hair but after a moment he glances back at Mingyu and his smile softens— goes shy at the corners. "Thanks."

"Sure," Mingyu says, spreading his legs out in a wide V and doing his best to stretch his back before they start again.

Soonyoung claps his hands and starts calling them all back to practice and Mingyu ducks his head forward with a groan. Minghao smiles, pushing himself up and then reaching out a hand for Mingyu to take. Mingyu grips it, pulling himself up, letting his hand linger in the warmth of Minghao's for an extra few seconds when they go back to their spaces, just because he wants to.

Minghao doesn't say anything about it, but Mingyu catches one of his little dimples showing before he lets go and turns away. Another mundane victory, but Mingyu thinks it'll be enough to get him through to the end of this practice.

**{* * *}**

No member of Seventeen has ever seen Minghao cry. This is a point of pride for him; he's never liked getting emotional, to begin with, and having someone else see it is even worse. Being comforted while he's crying just makes him feel sick to his stomach.

So when they get their first win, Minghao smiles his way through the encore. He hugs Soonyoung while he cries and throws an arm around Mingyu's shoulders when the trophy gets passed into his hands. He's not the only one not crying— Hansol wanders back and forth on the stage like he doesn't know what's going on and Junhui wipes tears off of Jihoon's face and gently teases him for crying at all.

On the ride back home, Soonyoung's still leaking tears and hiccuping out tiny sobs so Minghao lets Seokmin sit next to him instead so the two of them can be weepy together and when they get back to the dorm he hides out in his room to avoid anyone else getting emotional when there are no cameras around.

It's not that Minghao doesn't _care_ about their first win, of course, but he's not the type to cry over it. It's more like a buzzing sensation that fills up his chest and refuses to go away- it's the same thing he felt when their parents showed up to put rings on their fingers to make their debut official. It's the same thing he used to feel back home winning dance competitions.

He drapes himself across the narrow space of his bunk and stuffs headphones in, hoping to take a nap before they have to practice or get ready for some other scheduled activity. He’s only just shut his eyes when someone else climbs into the bed with him, shoving him over against the wall to make space.

Minghao peeks his eyes open with a glare only to be met with Mingyu’s smiling face staring back at him, close enough that his warm breath brushes over Minghao’s cheek.

“Don’t you have your own bed?” Minghao asks, propping himself up on his side to make space and pulling one of his earbuds out. Mingyu shrugs his shoulders and giggles, taking the headphone out of Minghao’s fingers and putting it in his own ear. He has one arm tucked under his head and the other comes to rest softly on Minghao’s waist.

As much as he’s loathe to skip the chance to nap, Minghao doesn’t really mind Mingyu settling into bed next to him like he belongs there. He doesn’t mind Mingyu holding onto his side, or the way their legs tangle together in the limited space, knees gently bumping.

“Jihoon kicked me out,” Mingyu says, giggling, adjusting the headphone in his ear and smiling when Minghao lays his head back down. “And I know you’re not gonna start crying.”

“Of course I’m not,” Minghao says, narrowing his eyes when he looks up at Mingyu. “Are you?”

“No,” Mingyu says, shaking his head with a laugh. “I’m happy.”

“Me too,” Minghao says, mumbling even though it’s no big secret.

“Yeah?” Mingyu asks, his grin getting a little bit wider. “It’s hard to tell with you.”

“No, it isn’t,” Minghao says, in part just to be contrary. He likes bickering with Mingyu; most of the time he does it just because he can. He tilts his head back slightly, stretching an overly wide, toothy grin on his face. The expression is more like he’s thinking about ripping Mingyu’s throat out than smiling and it makes Mingyu laugh.

“Is that your smile?” He asks, his eyes twinkling. “You should keep it hidden then. You look like an animal.”

Minghao laughs, curling closer to Mingyu, forehead pressed against his shoulder. The bunk bed sways slightly with the force of it, sending the both of them into even more giggles, Mingyu’s arm tight and secure around Minghao’s back to keep from falling out of the bed.

When Minghao pulls his head out of Mingyu’s chest, Mingyu is smiling at him but it feels different. It makes Minghao’s chest feel weird and tight like a fist is suddenly trying to squeeze his heart into pulp. Mingyu closes the short distance between their faces in a single lunge, almost bumping their noses together.

It’s hardly the first time he’s ever been kissed, but it is the first time he’s been kissed by Kim Mingyu, of all people. 

But weirdly, Minghao doesn’t feel the need to freak out over it. It’s the right thing— just as easy as laying in bed and making silly faces and laughing. He kisses Mingyu back, curling a hand around the nape of his neck and doesn’t think to question anything too hard.

**{* * *}**

When they go abroad for an award show, Mingyu lucks out twice. The first is that through luck of the draw, he gets the hotel room with the massive jacuzzi tub inside it that everyone wants.

The second is that he gets to share the room with Minghao, through significantly less luck and more scheming. He convinces Hansol to trade key cards with Minghao by promising to help him with lyrics and buy him food later on. And no matter how much Jeonghan and Seungkwan prod at him, he won't agree to vacate the room for awhile so anyone else can use the big, luxurious tub. 

It isn't exactly nice of him to be so selfish but it's not like the rest of them don't have baths in their own rooms… They just don't have jets and aren't deep enough for two big young adults to share the space. 

Which is exactly what Mingyu and Minghao are doing. Well, what they will be doing. Currently, Mingyu is watching the tub fill with the scalding hot water that Minghao prefers, steam rising off the surface of the water to curl in the air. He has one of the nice hotel robes wrapped around him and he's trying very hard to pretend he's not watching Minghao take his clothes off a few feet away. 

It's not like he's never seen Minghao naked before, it's happened in all kinds of contexts, but the intimacy still makes Mingyu feel a little goofy and shy. There's a crooked smile on Minghao's face, discarding his loose shirt on the bed, giggling at the flush on Mingyu's face. 

“Are you embarrassed, Mingyu-ya?” He asks, both eyebrows raised, teasing. Mingyu shakes his head because there's no reason for him to be but it's clear that Minghao sees right through him.

“You know we've had sex,” Minghao says, thumbs hooked in the waist of his jeans, as if Mingyu somehow could have forgotten it. 

“I know,” Mingyu says, leaning forward to drag his hand through the burning hot water so he has something to do that isn't watching Minghao. That will only encourage him to put on a show and as welcome as it would be, neither of them really have the energy required for that tonight. 

All Mingyu really wants is a soak in this overly large tub and to feel Minghao's skin against his. They've been so busy with awards and the repackage album and promotions on top of promotions that Mingyu is starting to feel like he's drifting around detached from his body. He needs something to pull him back to himself. 

Minghao smiles, shrugging his own robe on when Mingyu looks back, drifting over to press a chaste kiss to the corner of Mingyu's lips. 

“You look tired,” he says, rather than needling Mingyu further about being a prude. His thumb traces the delicate skin under one of Mingyu's eyes, following the bruise-like shadows. They've all got matching dark circles and skinny cheeks at this point, Mingyu doesn't think his tiredness should particularly stand out. 

But then, he can see the bone-deep weariness that Minghao carries around better than he can see anyone else. The tub finishes filling and Minghao twists the knobs off, shedding his robe on the floor with a rakish grin. 

He hisses when he steps one foot inside the water, lowering himself in with a groan that would sound obscene in any other context but like this, it just makes Mingyu giggle. 

Mingyu stands to get in as well but Minghao shakes his head. “Music.”

Rolling his eyes at being bossed around, Mingyu turns on the wireless speaker that Minghao carted along with him. He drops his robe next to Minghao's, taking the damp hand Minghao offers him to steady himself when he climbs in. 

The water is burning hot against his skin but Mingyu sinks as low as he can anyway. As large as the tub is, Mingyu still has to bend his legs to fit, his knees like two tanned islands in the middle of the water. Minghao settles between his legs, sideways so his ribs are across Mingyu's chest. It takes a little wiggling around for the both of them to get comfortable, water sloshing out of the sides of the tub and onto the expensive hotel carpet.

When they've settled, one of Mingyu's arms around Minghao's bony waist, Mingyu reaches out and turns the jets on. The sound of them bubbling drowns out most of the music but Minghao doesn't complain, laying his head on Mingyu's chest and shutting his eyes. He heaves out a small, contented sigh, his fingers tracing nonsense on the damp skin of Mingyu's chest. Mingyu shakes all the water he can off of his hand before petting it through Minghao's hair, letting his eyes drift closed as well. 

“We should've got candles,” Minghao says, his voice a little hazy, like he might be right on the edge of sleep. He's soft and boneless against Mingyu, melted into his chest like without the support he would sink under the water and be lost forever.

“Coups-hyung would yell at us,” Mingyu says, rubbing a wet hand up and down the knobs of Minghao's spine. He's thinner than usual— all of them are— but on Minghao it stands out more. He has so little weight to give up in the first place that sometimes Mingyu complains it's like trying to cuddle with a skeleton rather than a person.

“It's more romantic,” Minghao says, pressing a feather-light kiss to Mingyu's chest, tracing the same spot his lips touched with his thumb right after. Mingyu's heart does a little somersault in his chest and he wonders if Minghao can hear the change in its pace every time it flutters. 

“It's fine like this,” Mingyu says, kissing the top of Minghao's head. “If we had candles we'd just have to blow them all out after.”

Minghao hums, neither agreeing or disagreeing, kissing Mingyu's clavicle softly.

Mingyu feels better than he has in weeks.

**{* * *}**

When he collapses to the bed next to Minghao, Mingyu is still struggling to catch his breaths, heavy gusts of it breezing over the side of Minghao’s neck. They’re both sweaty and Mingyu still has some of his heavy stage eyeliner smeared around his eyes.

Everything is a little bit of a mess but in the best possible way. Minghao kicks the sheets away from where they’re tangled around his ankles and pulls Mingyu in close to him, ignoring the sweat and the smear of Mingyu’s come on his stomach that’s going to make them stick together. Mingyu hums, his eyes half open, butting the top of his head against Minghao’s chin.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Minghao says, even though his fingers are scratching the back of Mingyu’s head. Mingyu hums, his voice wavering just a little, his hand tracing the curve of Minghao hip, paying particular attention to the red arch of a bite still imprinted in his skin.

“I mean it,” Minghao says when Mingyu doesn’t answer him, pressing a kiss into his hair. “You’re gonna wanna clean up.”

“You are too,” Mingyu grumbles but refuses to leave the embrace of Minghao’s arms. It’s fine— Minghao is hardly trying to get rid of him. He draws his fingers down the nape of Mingyu’s neck, touching one of the small moles there, before following the curve of his back.

“I’m not falling asleep,” Minghao says, his voice softer, less scolding. Mingyu laughs and it buzzes against the skin of Minghao’s collarbone. He follows the sound up with gentle kisses that trace the arch of Minghao’s bone, nuzzling into the hollow of his neck.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if I did,” Mingyu says, sounding very much like he’s on the edge of drifting off.

“We have to get up early,” Minghao says, rubbing Mingyu’s back in slow circles, kissing his temple. He isn’t exactly jolting Mingyu awake, he knows, but it never gets old for him— having Mingyu in his arms like this, breathing slow and heavy, all the worry and tension drained out of him, just soft and pliant and so receptive to affection that sometimes Minghao wonders if he could ever possibly give Mingyu enough.

“Don’t say that,” Mingyu says, nipping playfully at the edge of Minghao’s shoulder. “Don’t remind me.”

Minghao yelps, pushing Mingyu’s head back and laughing. Mingyu looks up at him, lips pulled back over his sharp canines in a grin and he starts giggling too. Minghao cups his palm around Mingyu’s cheek, tilting his face up to make it easier to kiss his smiling mouth.

It’s a slow, sweet kiss and when Minghao pulls back, Mingyu is still smiling at him. Minghao grins, shifting so he’s on his knees between Mingyu’s thighs. He slides the palms of his hands along Mingyu’s legs, spreading them apart to expose where he’s still a slick mess of lube and come, leaning his head slightly to the side with a smirk.

“If I go clean up are you gonna kick me out?” Mingyu asks, even though he should know better by now. Still, Minghao shakes his head, stroking his fingers over the stretched muscle of Mingyu’s rim, pressing his thumb down enough to tease another thin stream of come to leak out. Even though they just finished the sight makes Minghao’s stomach flicker with heat again. Mingyu’s thighs twitch like he’s not sure if he wants to press them closed or let Minghao continue.

“You can sleep here,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. When Mingyu first came in and declared that he and Minghao were going to watch a movie, wisely found somewhere else to be and it’s unlikely he’ll be bothered much if the two of them are sleeping in Minghao’s bed when he does come back in.

“Okay,” Mingyu says, making no move to go anywhere.“You go first.”

Minghao has something better in mind. He grabs Mingyu’s leg a little more tightly, holding them apart and bending himself forward, stroking Mingyu’s hole with his knuckles before dragging his tongue over the spot. Mingyu draws in a sharp breath, his thighs struggling to close around Minghao’s shoulders.

“I thought you wanted me to clean up,” Mingyu says, his voice shaking a little. Minghao lifts his head, looking up with a grin.

“I’m helping you out,” he says, giggling when Mingyu drops his head back with a little huff. As much as he’s trying to sound put out, he has one leg draped along Minghao’s side, knee nudging against his ribs to encourage him closer.

Minghao plants his hand on the inside of Mingyu’s thigh, giving it a squeeze before flattening his tongue against Mingyu’s rim once again, enjoying the whine that punches its way out of his lungs. He draws his tongue over Mingyu’s hole in long, slow strokes, not really bothered by the mix of lube and his own release.

As tightly as Minghao is holding onto him, Mingyu still squirms on the sheets, leaning his head back and pushing his hips back against Minghao’s face. Minghao prods the tip of his tongue against Mingyu’s hole, teasing before sliding it in. Mingyu whimpers, one of his hands finding its way to grip the silver-bleached strands of Minghao’s hair, ankles twisting together behind his back.

Two of Minghao’s knuckles rub against Mingyu’s perineum, circling around and making Mingyu gasp before pressing against it, fucking his tongue in slow strokes. Mingyu whines, his back arching away from the bed, breath coming once again in heavy pants. Minghao slides his tongue out, swiping it once again over Mingyu’s rim before turning his head to kiss the inside of Mingyu’s thighs.

“You’re such a tease,” Mingyu complains, unlocking his legs to allow Mingyu to sit up, an arm thrown over his face dramatically. Minghao laughs, kissing the arch of Mingyu’s hip before pushing himself up and off the bed. 

“I’ll be right back.” He grabs his underwear from the floor and shimmies it on, laughing when Mingyu waves a hand lazily on him. He’s hoping he doesn’t run into any of the other members in the hall with his hair a mess and a smear of Mingyu’s come on his stomach.

It’s not as if any of his relationship is really a secret, but getting caught with all the incriminating evidence in full view is still embarrassing.

He’s lucky, it turns out. The rest of the apartment is dark and if anyone is still up, they’re in their rooms rather than wandering around in the halls. Minghao does the quickest job he can, brushing his teeth, running a brush through his messy hair, washing his face and his stomach and deciding to just bring the same cloth with him to clean Mingyu up as well.

Predictably, even as quick as he was, when he gets back to his own room, Mingyu has already drifted off to sleep, splayed naked across the sheets. Minghao nudges the door quietly shut with his foot, chuckling to no one but himself at the sight. He considers dropping the cold cloth on Mingyu’s back to wake him but decides against it, pressing a light kiss to the nape of his neck instead.

“I told you not to fall asleep,” he says, barely above a whisper. Mingyu groans, his eyes stubbornly shut.

“But I’m sleepy,” he whines, his fingers curling around the sheet. “Come cuddle with me.”

“Sit up for me,” Minghao says, shaking his head and coaxing Mingyu upright. Mingyu huffs, slumping a little but holding himself up, looking at Minghao with bleary, soft eyes.

Minghao kisses his cheek then does the best job he can wiping off the remaining mess between his thighs with Mingyu being seriously uncooperative about it.

It doesn’t take very long for Mingyu to decide he’s had enough, wrapping his arms around Minghao’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss. “Come to bed.”

“One more thing,” Minghao says, patting his cheek and leaning over to hand Mingyu back his underwear. It’s in their best interest not to get caught sleeping naked by any of the other members.

There’s a pout on Mingyu’s face while he pulls the boxers on and Minghao tosses the cloth into their dirty clothes to be dealt with later and when he finishes, Minghao kisses his sulking lips with a smile.

“Now you can sleep,” he says, laying down next to Mingyu once again. The size of the bed means they have to tangle close to each other to sleep, but even when they’re in hotel rooms with queen beds to themselves they sleep in a mess of intertwined limbs.

Mingyu nods, his head tucked under Minghao’s chin again. In spite of his height and his broad shoulders, Mingyu has always liked it best when Minghao holds him.

“Love you,” Mingyu says, his voice a long, sleepy drawl.

It’s not the first time he’s said it— compared to everyone else Minghao’s ever had a relationship with (not that there have been many others and none that made him feel the way Mingyu does) Mingyu actually says it quite a lot. It makes sense coming from him. Mingyu has always been plain about his feelings.

Minghao isn’t quite so easy. Love is too big a thing to throw around casually and his heart has always been too wary to be shared in heavy doses.

Still, he presses his face into Mingyu’s hair and shuts his eyes, his arms wound tight around Mingyu’s shoulders.

“Love you, too,” he says, light as air.

**{* * *}**

As busy as they are shooting their next music video, there’s still some time for them to get out and see America together. They get an entire day in between individual shoots to just wander around the city and most of them are out together making the most of it; visiting farmer’s markets to shop and taking silly pictures all around the city.

Mingyu is having a good time, even if Wonwoo and Jeonghan won’t quit teasing him about how he’s overdressed. He’s not even that hot, though he spends most of the day with his blazer draped over his shoulder rather than wearing it properly.

They’re filming bits for a behind the scenes video but as soon as the cameras are off Mingyu reaches out to tangle his fingers together with Minghao’s. They’re still out in public and there’s always a chance of running into fans, but it’s not nearly as conspicuous to be caught holding hands here as it as back home.

It’s not like people have never seen them hold hands, anyway, it’s easy enough to play off as something simple. Minghao glances at him, laughing softly and using his other hand to brush the peaks of Mingyu’s hair away from his forehead once again, even though they immediately droop toward his eyes.

“I think we’re done with all the video stuff,” Minghao says, watching the camera crew pack things back into their van. Mingyu hums, resisting the urge to drape his whole body over Minghao’s. He’ll just complain about the heat. “Do you wanna go back with the others?”

Mingyu thinks it over for a moment, chewing his lip. They still have a few more hours to themselves before they have to go practice and eat, which means there’s plenty of time to take a nap.

But as nice as it sounds, Mingyu shakes his head, giving Minghao’s hand an extra little squeeze. “I wanna walk around some more.”

Minghao nods and waves when Seungcheol gathers the rest of them back into the van. He makes them promise to get back on time without causing any trouble or getting lost which they both swear to before the rest of them leave.

“Do you wanna get coffee first?” Minghao asks, his fingers still curled with Mingyu’s. Mingyu nods, letting Minghao pull him off to a cute, hole in the wall coffee shop rather than one of the thousands of Starbucks that Mingyu can pull up on his phone.

Mingyu doesn’t really mind it, though. There’s art on the walls that Minghao stops to examine before they fumble their way through ordering drinks, taking turns squinting at the handwritten sign above the counter listing all the drinks that are offered before giving up on getting anything and both just ordering americanos to make it easy.

“It’s really cool, huh?” Mingyu says, nodding at one of the paintings that Minghao’s eyes seem to keep drifting back to.

Minghao nods, the straw of his drink pressed against his lip, grinning. “I like it.”

It’s an abstract painting and Mingyu can’t say for sure what it means or what Minghao is seeing in it, but he likes the smile on Minghao’s face, the way he leans in to examine the texture of the brush strokes.

“We should try something like this,” Minghao says, nodding his head and taking another sip of his coffee.

“Like this? Painting?” Mingyu asks, giggling. “We’re gonna be on tour for like. Ever.”

“We can try it after that,” Minghao says, shaking his head. “It’s just the summer, isn’t it?”

“If summer goes all the way until October,” Mingyu says, rolling his eyes.

Minghao laughs, dragging Mingyu outside by the hand now, thumb rubbing his knuckles. “I’ll figure it out. If we wait around for free time we’ll never get to do anything.”

“I guess,” Mingyu says because at some point he’s just bickering with Minghao for the sake of it, even when Minghao is right. Even though they’re in public, Mingyu wants to kiss Minghao just because he’s already bright and giggly from winning their stupid argument

He can’t but the desire is there, warming his skin just like the hot-burning California sun. He bumps his shoulder against Minghao’s instead, shooting him a smile in return.

“We can find a class or something,” Mingyu says a moment later, nodding his head. “It sounds fun.”

Minghao hums out a soft agreement, glancing up and down the street quickly before pulling Mingyu into a tight, graffiti-covered alley with him. The small space means that even when Mingyu stumbles back against the wall behind him in surprise he’s still practically pressed against Minghao.

“Someone’s gonna see us,” Mingyu says, though he’s hardly as worried about that fact as he really should be.

Minghao lifts one shoulder in a shrug, the condensation from his plastic cup dripping onto the pavement as it dangles from his fingers.

“People don’t know who we are,” Minghao says, a mischievous glint in his eyes that Mingyu can’t help but be drawn in by. “People don’t even know what we’re saying.”

“There are still fans,” Mingyu says, getting the words out right before Minghao leans up on his toes and kisses him.

It silences all of Mingyu’s complaints pretty quickly, tucking one arm around Minghao’s side and kissing him back.

**{* * *}**

45 minutes into 2018, and Minghao is already having a shitty year. He's spread out on the couch in the living room, giving up on the impossible task of finding a comfortable position and just letting his back radiate with pain, ignoring it as best he can.

The end of the year celebration Seventeen went to perform on ended a little while ago, with a special stage for idols turning 20 that included Chan and a nice comment from the members about how he wasn't there and they all miss him. 

Minghao misses performing with them too. He misses doing anything that isn't the stretches the physical therapist approves for him or getting ferried to doctors appointments by the managers. 

In the last two and a half years, there's been no real reason for Minghao to be lonely. He's always had someone by his side, even if he isn't much one for sharing what he's feeling. But being actually alone while the members are off promoting their new album or attending award shows has done nothing to improve his mood.

It shouldn’t be that long before the rest of them return home and Minghao, by all rights, should probably be asleep already. The muscle relaxers the doctor has been giving him are pretty good at knocking him out. But he’d rather wait up and at least talk to the rest of them for a few minutes before Soonyoung or Seungcheol chase him off to rest.

Minghao wiggles around a little more on the couch, flipping over, trying to find some angle that’s more mildly comfortable but fails in the end, still on his stomach with his arms under his chin.

The door swings open, revealing a tired parade of the other members, still chatting and laughing, though Seokmin is basically asleep on his feet, leaning all his weight on Jeonghan and walking with his eyes shut.

Seungcheol gives Minghao a slight frown when he sits up, doing his best to cover up a little cringe at the strain of lifting himself up.

“You should be getting some rest,” he says, though there’s very little conviction to his scolding. Minghao nods, rolling his eyes just a little. Seungcheol huffs, stepping to the side of the door after kicking his shoes off to make room for the rest of them shuffling in. “Don’t stay up late.”

“I won’t,” Minghao says, shooting Seungcheol a smile. Jeonghan continues with carrying Seokmin off to bed, an arm wrapped around his side, giving Minghao a little smile and a wave.

It’s not a big surprise when Mingyu drops to sit on the couch next to Minghao, the smudged remains of his stage makeup still on his face, smiling as brightly as ever.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks, even though the question makes Minghao want to curl up in a ball and avoid talking to anyone for a week. He must make a face because Mingyu’s smile dims just a little, going soft at the edges, brushing his hand over Minghao’s shoulder but avoiding his back. “Any better?”

“It’s fine,” Minghao says, shaking his head. There are a few of the members lingering around in the kitchen but none of them seem to be paying much attention and Minghao sighs, leaning to the side and resting his head against Mingyu’s shoulder. “I’m just bored.”

“I know,” Mingyu says, kissing Minghao’s temple softly, rubbing slow strokes into Minghao’s shoulders. He glances at the TV and smiles, stroking his fingers through Minghao’s hair. “Were you watching us?”

“Yeah,” Minghao says, chuckling a little. “You messed up in the second chorus.”

“I did not,” Mingyu says, sitting up a little to look at Minghao with a pout on his face. “I was perfect.”

“I saw it,” Minghao says, prodding Mingyu’s lower lip with one finger, laughing. “You definitely messed up.”

“You did!” Soonyoung says, leaning out of the kitchen with a smile, a granola bar half stuffed in his mouth. Mingyu groans, turning his head and hiding his face against Minghao’s neck.

“Whatever,” he grumbles. He nuzzles into a slightly more comfortable spot, tucking one of his arms around Minghao. “Did you do your stretches?”

Minghao hums, nodding his head, looking up with a smile when Soonyoung wanders back through the room, a bag of chips tucked under his arm. “Night, hyung.”

“Remember no making out on the couch,” Soonyoung says, tossing it over his shoulder as he disappears into his room. Mingyu giggles, picking his head up finally.

“No danger of that,” Minghao grumbles, a little more bitterly than he really means to. It’s not exactly comfortable to fuck when he can’t even find a way to sit without his back hurting, and the medication makes him too tired and loopy to do anything but lay around or fall asleep.

Mingyu giggles, rubbing the back of his neck still. “Did you take a shower?”

“I don’t need you to baby me,” Minghao says, using Mingyu’s shoulder to leverage himself up to his feet. He doesn’t mean to be quite so grumpy with Mingyu, and even if it doesn’t seem to bother Mingyu it doesn’t make him feel particularly better when he realizes it.

“You should still let me,” Mingyu says, giggling and standing up himself. He presses a quick kiss to Minghao’s cheek. “I’m doing it because I want to, not because you can’t take care of yourself.”

“Fine,” Minghao says, shaking his head, fighting the urge to smile at just how sincere Mingyu is.

He drags himself into the tiny room they’re sharing, rolling onto the bed with a little groan, stretching his arms over his back and screwing his face up at the ache that shoots up his spine.

Before he opens his eyes, he knows Mingyu is going to be right there looming over him with a worried little pout on his face. Mingyu leans closer when Minghao’s eyes do open, in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt.

“Meds?” He asks, already reaching out for the orange bottle that Minghao has sat on their shared nightstand. This time, Minghao doesn’t bother to argue that he can take care of it himself. He takes the bottle as well as the bottle of water Mingyu hands him, swallowing two of the muscle relaxers before twisting the cap back on and setting the bottle to the side again.

“Are you showering?” Minghao asks, setting the water down as well, stuffing one of his pillows against the wall to support his back better. Mingyu shakes his head, finishing changing into his pyjamas.

“We have tomorrow free,” he says, looking for a moment like he’s debating which bed he should lay down in.

Minghao wiggles over so his back his against the wall, the pillow propping it up a little more comfortably, patting his hand on the mattress.

“Lay down then,” Minghao says, tucking his head against his arm. Mingyu smiles, flipping the light off before occupying the rest of the space, tucking himself in close to Minghao.

“Is it feeling any better?” Mingyu asks, his voice quiet, rubbing his palm up and down Minghao’s side.

“A little,” Minghao admits, his eyes drifting shut already. “I have to go to the hospital again in a few days.”

Mingyu nods, letting Minghao wiggle around to try and get comfortable. It takes more work than normal and Mingyu seems to have a hard time figuring out where to put his hands so Minghao grabs his wrist and lays Mingyu’s palm against his side, his forehead against Mingyu’s chest.

“You’re gonna be back with us soon,” Mingyu says, rubbing his thumb over Minghao’s ribs.

“It sucks just hanging around all day,” Minghao says, mumbling against the soft shirt Mingyu has on, his voice low and heavy. “Feel like I’m not doing anything.”

“Your job is supposed to be getting better,” Mingyu says, nuzzling the top of Minghao’s head. “That’s what Coups-hyung keeps saying.”

“Shitty job,” Minghao says, sighing out hard.

Mingyu giggles, pressing a single kiss to Minghao’s forehead. “It’s not gonna be much longer.”

“I hope so,” Minghao says, his voice a little rawer than he means it to be, letting the soft petting of Mingyu’s hand on his side lull him off to sleep.

**{* * *}**

“You can’t seriously think,” Minghao is saying, his voice liquid and a half-full glass of wine in his hand. “That this movie should be a romance.”

They’re watching _Moana_ with a now pretty much empty bottle of wine sitting between them and there’s no reason for Minghao to be taking Mingyu’s comment about the movie quite so seriously. Except that he’s Minghao and if he didn’t tease Mingyu for it Mingyu might start worrying that Pledis replaced him with a clone.

“I’m just saying it could be nice!” Mingyu says, leaning his head on Minghao’s shoulder with a little whine. He’s always been tactile, but apparently, it just gets worse when he’s been drinking because every time Minghao leans even a little bit away Mingyu wants to start whining for his attention.

Minghao sighs like Mingyu is seriously putting him out but he’s also scratching Mingyu’s scalp and it’s undercutting his serious tone.

“I’m tired of princess romance movies,” Minghao says, which makes Mingyu laugh because it’s a total lie. Minghao isn’t tired of _any_ kind of romance.

“Be quiet and watch,” Minghao says, sinking a little lower and rolling his eyes. He’s smiling, his lips stained a darker shade of red than normal because of the wine, long bangs falling into his eyes. Rather than do as directed and pay attention to the movie, Mingyu kisses him instead.

Minghao hums against his lips, fingers twisting in the back of Mingyu’s hand, pulling at where the strands are a little long, setting his glass of wine down on the floor and kissing Mingyu back with more intensity than expected.

They’re pretty quick to forget about the movie after that. They’re more focused on kissing instead; with Minghao climbing his way into Mingyu’s lap to have a better angle and Mingyu rubbing circles in his hips, happy to hold him there. It’s not the kind of kissing that’s leading up to anywhere— it’s lacking that kind of intensity. This long and slow, lips pressed together, tongues meeting, sharing the same air. Minghao’s arms are draped loosely around Mingyu’s shoulders, nipping gently at his lower lip.

Mingyu sighs, content, kissing the corner of Minghao’s mouth when they pull slightly apart, Minghao bumping their foreheads together. The overhead light of their tiny room is off, lit instead by the screen of Mingyu’s laptop and the empty wine bottles with fairy lights wrapped carefully around them, casting a soft golden glow over Minghao’s features.

Maybe it’s the wine, or maybe it’s because, after the last couple frustrating months, everything finally feels like it’s okay again, but Mingyu can’t think of anything lately that’s made him happier than this. He strokes his thumb over the side of Minghao’s face, following the full shape of his lower lip before kissing him again once, soft and fleeting.

“I’m totally in love with you,” Mingyu says, sounding exactly as dumbstruck by it as he feels. Minghao’s face flushes pink and he giggles, hiding it against the side of Mingyu’s neck.

A year ago, maybe Minghao laughing at something like that would make Mingyu feel bad. But now it just makes Mingyu laugh too, cradling Minghao close to his chest and rocking them slightly back and forth.

“Why are you so cheesy?” Minghao asks, mumbling against the side of Mingyu’s neck before kissing the skin there too. “No more wine for you.”

“Don’t be mean,” Mingyu says, shaking his head. “You’re not gonna finish it by yourself.”

“Yes I will,” Minghao says, sitting up with a grin on his face. His cheeks are still flushed pink and Mingyu can’t help but find it cute. He doesn’t tease Minghao for not returning his impromptu confession— Minghao is selective with his words; careful with his heart and the times he chooses to give it away.

It doesn’t matter. Mingyu knows by now that the piece of it Minghao has chosen to share with him isn’t going to be taken away so easily. Minghao is slow to warm up— slow to fall in love, but he’s also loyal with his affections.

Behind them, the door swings open and they look up at the same time to find Seungkwan staring at them, blinking twice before hanging his head with a groan.

“You’re doing this again?” He asks, shaking his head back and forth and clicking his tongue.

“Yes,” Minghao says, laughing when Mingyu tries to hide his face. They aren’t even doing anything, not really, but it still feels vividly like being caught by his younger sister after kissing a boy in his room for the first time.

Seungkwan just shakes his head once more before shutting the door, probably wandering off to complain to Hansol about the two of them. Minghao giggles, kissing Mingyu’s temple, brushing his bangs out of the way to reach it.

“We forgot about the movie,” he says, twisting to look over his shoulder at the glittering crab now on the screen.

“We can still finish it,” Mingyu says, lifting his arms to let Minghao turn so he’s still sitting in Mingyu’s lap facing the other way instead. Mingyu wraps his arms around Minghao’s middle, rubbing the flat of his stomach.

“Me too,” Minghao says after a few minutes have gone by, staring at the screen. Mingyu doesn’t have to ask what he’s talking about, he simply hums out a content noise and kisses one of the moles at the nape of Minghao’s neck, squeezing him a little tighter in response.

**Author's Note:**

> As always you can find more of me, for better or worse @dumbkyeomie on twitter


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